


Boredom not Advised

by VickyStark



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, I drank coffee when I wrote this, I need help, Thor is the victim of a prank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 08:13:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30018771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VickyStark/pseuds/VickyStark
Summary: The genius Milliardaire is left bored in his tower. The God of Thunder becomes the victim of his boredom, struck repeatedly with arrows by an invisible force bearing the name of one great Tony Stark.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Boredom not Advised

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a few years ago (and it shows)  
> But it's still funny, to me at least, maybe I'm weird.  
> English isn't my first language, I'm a Baguette.

Disclaimer : All Marvel characters belong to its owner, I'm simply borrowing them for a small amount of time.

Boredom – Not Advised.

Tony's head hit the wall softly with a quiet thump and he winced.  
He was so bored.  
"Sir, I would advise you to stop hitting your head against the cement wall, it could cause you head injuries-"  
"I'm alright, calm down you mother hen." He cracked with a sigh.

Sitting on the cold ground with his back against the wall, alone in his messy workshop, the genius billionaire was extremely bored.   
The Avengers were all gone their separate ways or busy. Pepper had talked the Captain into a shopping spree, and Tony had totally ignored the puppy face and the imploring eyes the soldier had steered on him. That will teach him.   
No doubt the popsicle would get his revenge on Tony for that, some day.

Bird brain, also known as Hawkeye, was currently slumbering in the air ducts, oblivious to Stark's dismay. Many times, the billionaire had tried to convince the damn pigeon to not sleep or even enter the air ducts, but the fellow Avenger wouldn't listen and break into those anyway, so Tony stopped trying and let him.  
That's what his life was now, Tony reflected.

Banner was off to God knows where, probably on a date with the Black Widow.  
Tony reminded himself to never tease the redhead again, or Banner for that matter who had hulked out at one of his drunk, very innocent jokes.

"Eh, Banner! I bet you can't wait to show her your gamma radiations when you two will be alone tonight!"

He'd nearly died that night, Bruce had abruptly changed into the Hulk, the assassin had had barely the time to shoot the drunk billionaire a murderous glare before fighting and/or calming the green beast.

All through the fight, Tony was just laying there on the couch, laughing hysterically at his joke, oblivious to the chairs and the furniture flying through the air or the roars produced by the Hulk.

'Such a good night.' He thought fondly with a smile.

And Thor was...

Thor was still in the house. Alone.

His blood pressure rose suddenly with anticipation, a plan already forming in his brilliant mind.

"Sir, your heart beat has increased abruptly, shall I call somebody to assist you?"

"No, no, no!" He replied quickly, shooting to a standing position with a broad smile. 

"I'm fine, J'. Is Thor still in the tower?" He inquired.

"The God of Thunder is currently trying to turn on the TV, Sir. He appears to be furious. I would suggest that you stop him from damaging the TV screen further, Sir, as he already threw the remote through it."

Tony winced. The Asgardian wasn't really fond of human technology. It was the third TV he had bought this month. The retail worker kept throwing him worried glances when he went to buy a new one and he had enough of That. It was a perfectly normal thing to do, alright?  
The cellphones and computers apparently still remained a mystery to him, even after months of living around those. Asgard was supposedly a marvel of technology, yet Thor was bested by a microwave on a daily basis.

"Show me the living room live, Jarvis." Tony sighed as he rubbed his eyes.

Tony needed coffee.

"YOU WILL WORK YOU DEMONIC MACHINE OR YOU SHALL PERISH UNDER MY WRATH!"

Stark started slightly as the booming voice of the God bellowed through the speakers.

"Don't tell Thor I'm coming, J'." Tony demanded as he pulled something from one his desk's drawers. It looked like a bow made of black colored plastic that would make Hawkeye proud, along with some equally dark plastic arrows.

Completely dressed in black in an attempt at a 'stealth mode', Tony swiftly slipped on a quiver full of freshly built arrows, watching the live feed with a grin. Thor's loud voice boomed again through the workshop as he threatened the poor television, which was unable to defend itself.  
All televisions should have rights. Tony could totally make it happen.

"Sir, may I ask what you are planning to do?" Asked the A.I with its soft British accent.

Tony smiled as he pulled out one arrow toward him, testing the string's resistance.

"I found a solution to my problem. Isn't it wonderful, Jarvis?"

"If it doesn't involve you antagonizing a god and probably risking your life then, yes." Replied the A.I, voice filled with sarcasm.

Ah, he had programmed Jarvis so well.

"Sorry, buddy. You know my methods."

"Sadly yes, Sir."

Sarcasm again! Tony let out a huffed laugh and steered his gaze on the cameras.

"I'll try not to die, Jarvis."

"I am most pleased to hear that, Sir." Answered the A.I with what could be considered fondness.

Tony gave the ceiling a feral grin before walking out his workshop. This afternoon was starting so well.

Thor looked around him with increasing agitation, nobody was there to help him make this irritating machine work properly. He had wished for some distraction since there was nothing to fight, the Earth wasn't under any attack. Shame, really.

The God of Thunder had tried to make this strange device work for an hour now, and maybe learn some things about humans' culture, but the screen wouldn't light up when he ordered it too.

So, Thor had a try at convincing it to finally work. But no. The machine was stubborn. He had then thrown the TV remote, which he called the magic wand, through the screen, hoping it would prove to the device he was a force to be reckoned with.  
Still, the thing wouldn't light up for him.

"YOU WILL WORK YOU DEMONIC MACHINE OR YOU SHALL PERISH UNDER MY WRATH!" He bellowed as loudly as he could, trying to scare the television. Maybe then it would submit and obey him?

After many yells and curses, the lonely God sat on the couch, face contorted into a pout.

He then felt something thwack the side of his head. Turning his head sharply to the side to try and locate the source of this flying missile, Thor's eyes narrowed when he found nothing but empty air. He grunted lowly. Suspicious.

Tony leaned back against the wall and inhaled slowly through his nose, pushing down the laugher that threatened to escape him. He had hit Thor in the right temple, the billionaire had almost broken down laughing at the hilarious 'pop' sound the arrow had made colliding with the God's thick skull. And Thor's face. 

The TV suddenly lit up, music blowing through the speakers, making Thor jump in alarm.

Tony thanked his A.I for the distraction and shot another arrow at the Asgardian's head. Thor grunted and batted the air with his hand, trying to chase whatever was hitting him. Did he seriously believe it was a bug? Tony stared incredulously a few seconds at the god, swallowing back more laugher.

Tony waited for Thor to turn around and then shot an arrow at his neck. The god forcibly slammed a hand on his neck, grunting and frowning in confusion when he found nothing but thin air. Tony laughed inwardly and shot another arrow.   
Then another.   
And another at the back of his head.

Watching with delight the God whip his head in all directions to locate the source of the projectiles, Tony let a broad smile break on his face, fighting hard with himself to stay silent.

"CEASE THIS IMMEDIATLY AND SHOW YOURSELF, FILTHY VERMIN!" Yelled Thor, his blue eyes flashing with rage, a furious scowl set on his face.

His plan had worked perfectly, Tony congratulated himself.

Before shooting an arrow whose sticky tip stayed glued on Thor's forehead.

First taken aback, Thor then immediately tried to pull the black stick off his forehead. Grunting and then yelling in pure rage when the the thing wouldn't peel itself off his skin.

"Jarvis, I hope you are recording this." Whispered Tony to his earpiece. He almost broke into laugher when the God's voice gained a higher pitch, making his ears ring slightly.

"I Have been recording since the beginning, Sir." Replied his A.I with a hint of amusement.

Finally, Thor managed to pull the arrow off his forehead, he tossed the stick aside angrily. He was beyond pissed, Tony could see. Just for good measure, he shot another arrow, which hit its target in the bum with a soft thump.

"I think it's time to go." Muttered Tony with a hint of fear in his voice at the sight of Mjolnir.

Stark ran in the hallway leading to his workshop, allowing a hysterical laugh to escape his chest. He abruptly stopped in his steps when an air vent opened before his eyes. Tony squinted at the hole in his ceiling, immediately identifying the dark figure as Clint.

"Why is he screaming like that? I was trying to sleep." Grunted Clint as his feet swiftly hit the ground in front of Tony.

Hawkeye's eyes narrowed at the bow and arrows the millionaire was carrying.  
"What have you been doing?" He asked slowly.

Tony bit back a laugh, trying to look as innocent as possible.  
"Nothing."

"Sure."

Tony cleared his throat and looked away, feeling uneasy under the man's piercing glare.

"Whatever it is you were doing, I want to do it too."

Tony looked up at Clint in surprise.

"What?" He asked, incredulous.

"You can't be the only one having fun here, it wouldn't be fair now, would it?" Clint asked with a sly smile.

Tony's face broke into a broad grin as he pulled an arrow out of his quiver and softly placed it against the bow. Clint mimicked the gesture in perfect synch. Their smile grew bigger at the god's booming threats and curses.

"The first who gets caught loses."

"You're on."


End file.
